Abstain for the game!


Lent is traditionally the time when we all consider giving up our guilty pleasures for a short period. An abstinence to purge the mind, body and soul. Sometimes too, as the hallowed clock strikes the strokes of midnight to usher in the New Year, we slur some drunken resolution to kick a bad habit. It seems the Kiwi’s have gone a step further…

In order to get the country behind the All Blacks in their bid to win the World Cup (now just 21 sleeps away!) New Zealand Telecom are promoting “Abstain for the game”… In effect, give up the sheep shagging for the entire duration of the competition and help the ABs lift the Webb Ellis Trophy.

You have got to ask yourself – what the hell does refraining from sex have anything to do with the team winning? You could understand the players getting a ban – but the whole country? Is this a subtle but not very effective teenage pregnancy decoy – or was there a massive baby boom 27 years ago that they dont wish to repeat in the current economic climate.

It’ll make the post Try celebrations a little more interesting, the ABs pile on top of one another like footballers, this could be considered a bit of dry humping and surely lead to a ban?! Perhaps all the opposition need to do is bring in some hot, nubile ladies (and sheep for the front row) to distract the under-sexed ABs?!

Rocky Elsom already seems to have got in on the act as he has given up the captaincy of the Wallabies (or had it stripped from him) – which seems staggering given how close the start of the tournament is, and does not bode well for their camp.

Meanwhile, whilst BlackKitGate cools down, the Kiwis are now focusing their shirt wearing wrath at Addidas as a price war has broken out over the cost of replica All Black shirts.

Its probably cheaper to buy the England or Wales away kit instead!


One response »

  1. Is this supposed to prevent the AB’s from ‘chocking’ on something??? Im sure the French will give them a good buggering anyway…..

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